2. Bananas That Vanquish Hepatitis
Hepatitis B is a serious ongoing health epidemic all around the world. Now, thanks to the diligent research and development skills of scientists in India, there may be an effective cure: Genetically modified bananas.
If you’re not yet salivating like Curious George over this new prospect, consider this: Bananas have proven to be the most efficient vehicle for the newly developed antidote. Would you rather receive a painful – and possibly ineffective – shot in your behind, or simply peel a nice tasty banana and let the genetically modified antivirus do its job?
1. The Ultimate, Practically Immortal, Super Soldier
You knew this was coming. DARPA (a leading American “defense” corporation) has announced a new project that will explore the developing neuroscience of “Optogenetics”. In the words of a recently released report, this obscure science revolves around the attempt to “manipulate neuronal activity and to control animal behavior.” In layman’s terms, this amounts to nothing less than (ominous orchestral theme) an attempt to create the perfect, practically immortal, soldier. For what other reason could a defense corporation be interested in genetically modifying the human brain?