10 Foods That Will Shorten Your Life.

When we think of the various things that constitute the bare minimum of necessities that we require to sustain our all too brief sojourn on this planet, good food is certainly foremost among them. And yet, in the midst of the undoubted superabundance of prosperity in the alleged First World, we find ourselves more troubled than ever by reports of our allotted span of years being prematurely shortened by inferior food.

How is this calamity possible? And why is it permitted? These are questions for a much longer article. In the meantime, here’s a list of the ten foods that will shorten your life. Caveat emptor, and bon appetit!

10. Soda


Sugary carbonated soda is a major menace. A recent study concluded that a daily dose of your average twenty ounce fizzy drink contributed to a whopping 4.6 years of extra aging. According to the same study (who asked them?), that’s the same amount of premature aging a person can expect from a life time of cigarette smoking.

9. Processed Meat


The aloof, frequently Green party voting, experts who publish these sorts of lists have a strong animus toward processed meat, i.e., store bought hot dogs, pepperoni on pizza, etc. According to them, eating large quantities of processed meat not only builds up unhealthy entities, such as nitrates, in your system, but also contributes mightily to the aging process.

It’s also unfortunately true that a too robust consumption of such meats will tend to pack on the pounds, particularly if you don’t get your rightful share of exercise. Walk it off, people!